Questions To Ask When Looking For Your Wedding Venue

Chosing Your Wedding Venue

Wedding Venues - Questions to Ask Before You Sign the Contract

 

When brides and grooms start looking for wedding venues, too often they fall in love with the beauty of the place and sign a contract before they've considered the more practical things. It makes sense -- who wants to look back and say only, "Well, it was practical"?

But unless the place is so magical that you're willing to plan your whole event around it, your shouldn't choose between wedding venues until you've decided approximately how many guests you're inviting and the size of your budget. You'll also need to decide if you want to have your ceremony and reception in the same place, or if you want an all-in-one wedding venue.

Once you know these things, and you have a few wedding venues in mind that fit that budget and size, then it's time to start asking questions!

• What's the decor like? Does it fit your style and wedding colors? Will you have to spend a lot of money on flowers and decorations to make it beautiful?


• Do they have an in-house caterer, and do you like that food? (While an in-house caterer can be easier and cheaper, sometimes the food is not as beautiful as the room. So make sure you taste it!) Do they have a limitation on which outside caterers you can use?


• Do they have adequate coat check and bathroom facilities?


• Is the wedding venue wheelchair accessible? If not, are there many stairs to climb? How close is the parking to the ceremony and reception rooms?
• What's the cancellation policy?


• Is there a payment schedule? What kind of deposits are required?


• Are there any hidden costs? (Before you sign the contract, read it carefully.)


• What are the overtime charges?


• Do they have a liquor license?


• Will they allow you to bring your own liquor? (This is usually cheaper, even with the customary corkage fee.)


• Is there room in the wedding venue for a band and/or dancing?


• Does the wedding venue already own a sound system with adequate speakers or will that need to be rented?


• Is there a space for the bride and groom to change and/or relax?


• Where will you take photographs? Is there a park nearby, or do the coordinators have recommended spots on the grounds?


• Who will be supervising and troubleshooting before the day of your wedding? Who will be supervising and troubleshooting on the day of your wedding? Can you meet them now?


• Where can your guests park? Are there extra fees for parking? Do they have valet parking?


• Is the wedding venue convenient to public transportation, especially in big cities? How long will it take your guests to get there?
• Especially in museums or private clubs, are there limitations on decorations? Do they limit food and drinks to only certain areas of the wedding venue?


• Are candles or other open flames allowed?


• If its an outdoor location, do they have any backup plans for rain or other inclement weather? If not, is there a place that you can put up a tent?

When Looking at Separate Wedding Reception Venues and Ceremony Locations

How far is it from one location to the other?

Do the two places have the same level of formality and a coordinating style?

Do they both accommodate about the same number of guests?

Does the wedding reception venue have any experience with weddings from your ceremony location?

When Looking for Wedding Venues for Both Ceremony and Reception

Do they own enough chairs for the ceremony, or will they need to be rented?

Does the wedding venue have an entirely separate area for the ceremony? {It is not uncommon that while the guests are at the cocktail hour, the caterers will transform the ceremony room into the dining room and/or dance floor.)

If not, how long does it typically take for the staff to change over the room?

Hopefully, these questions will help you cover the basics while you're looking at wedding venues. In your search for a wedding venue, there will probably be even more questions that arise for you personally. For example, you may want the menu to reflect your heritage, or with a large wedding party, you may need ample parking for limousines.

Outdoor Weddings

Planning Tips for an Outdoor Wedding

 

Whenever most brides envision their day, more and more are leaning outside the traditional indoor wedding and instead are opting for a beautiful outdoor wedding that encompasses their event vision. Be it beachside, in a field or garden, outdoor weddings are so very romantic because it is like Mother Nature is lending a bit of her own glory to your wedding day. Provided you have your logistics and contingency plans worked out, your outdoor wedding can be a glorious, memorable affair.

Choosing a location

As with any location, you want to choose something that is meaningful but also practical. In the wedding pictured above, our client actually chose her the backyard of her childhood home for her ceremony. Surrounded by family and friends and the beautiful perennials her mother nurtured throughout the year, the wedding ceremony needed only a few touches to transform it to something spectacular. When searching and scouting for locations, don’t discount non-traditional options. Consider the time of year and what will be growing and in season for your wedding. The more green and lush a garden, yard or field is, the more vibrant everything else appears with it.

The Logistics of an Outdoor Wedding

Make sure that you have an area that can serve as a main focal point for your guests to attract their attention. The wedding in the above picture actually took place on top of a hot tub with the ocean as a backdrop. This allowed for guests to get an opportunity to get up close to the couple at an estate that had some very non-traditional layouts. You will also want to make sure it is easily accessible. There needs to be an easy way in and easy way out– don’t forget to take into account elderly or handicapped individuals in your guest list. Fun signage is a great way to ensure that your guests don’t get lost and know where important areas of your event are (e.g., restrooms, event areas, etc.). When your space is vast and large, don’t be afraid to use areas to create lounge or rest areas.

Photos by Agnes Lopez

Also be sure to think strategically– as weddings happen within a time frame of four to six hours, you don’t want any significant downtime with travel, additional set up or “flipping”– a term we use in the industry that entails us moving all of the furniture and decor in one spot and replacing it with another. You can see this above where we had a beautiful garden wedding and then transformed it to an outdoor party with a black and white dance floor, lighting, bars and more. Additionally, there has to be a great flow to the event. There should be an area for your cocktail hour, which can segue into your reception.

Here are some things to consider:

• Ensure that your food areas (stations, buffets, cakes, etc.) have proper cover and protection from wind and insects
• If you are in a humid area or an area that has an infestation of mosquitos, sand gnats, etc., see if your location can be sprayed or bring in fans to disperse them. These tiny wedding crashers can and will ruin the experience at your wedding, so don’t take this lightly!
• If your event will go into the evening, consider what you will do for your lighting– will you bring in tiki torches, string/bulb lights, lamps, or dramatic lighting? This is something that you cannot skimp on and need to consider as you make your location decisions. The last thing you want is a wedding in the dark!
• Additionally, as you scout for locations, check your power sources– you may need to bring in a generator to accommodate the needs of your caterer, band/dj, lighting, etc.
• Try to see your location at or around the same time you are planning to have your wedding to see what factors need to be taken into consideration: lighting, weather, insects, tides, winds, etc. These factors will help you with your layout but also creating realistic contingency plans for your wedding.

Contingency Plans for Outdoor Weddings

The one thing about outdoor weddings is that as soon as you pick your dream location, you need to pick your plan B location. To be frank, we will not work with a client who doesn’t have one or refuses to get one in place with their wedding– that is how important it is. Weather and outside forces can change at a moment’s notice, causing your guests, musicians and other vendors to scramble looking for cover and attempting to salvage what is left of your wedding. So while you may feel like you are planning two weddings, your plan A and your plan B, make sure they are both something that you can live with – even if adjustments need to be made. Tents need to be ordered at the very latest a week in advance. A tent cannot be thrown together and erected within hours of your wedding. It takes an entire team who needs enough time to plot its position and account for any mishaps that could happen. If there are indoor options at or near your wedding location, look into these options and see if your outdoor layout can be duplicated at your Plan B location as well. Remember– it’s nothing to stress about! If you have to make changes before your wedding, your guests will never know you had something different planned. They will just attend a beautiful wedding.
Outdoor weddings take a bit more work, but are worth every bit of effort!

Choosing Your Wedding Date

"Congratulations! So, when is the big day?" At some point during the early days and weeks of your engagement, you will wonder if it might be easier to wear a shirt that says "Thanks! My Wedding Date is ___" as this will be the most popular question after announcing the great news. Before you head to the printer, you need to choose that elusive/magical/ date. How do you choose your wedding date? Very carefully! Your wedding date will be with you forever, so keep these thoughts in mind as you make your decision. First, think of the fairytale wedding you have been dreaming about since you were little. Is there a certain location, time of year, flower, or dress included in your dream wedding? If so, take all of these into consideration as you choose your date. Keep your budget in mind as you look to secure your wedding date. May, June, July and September are typically the most popular wedding months of the year, so prices during these busy times will, most likely, be higher than they would be during a slower time of year, not to mention the competition for preferred wedding vendors increases exponentially. The day of the week should also play a part if you are looking to save a few dollars. A Saturday wedding will be much more costly than a Friday or Sunday wedding. Just think, a Friday wedding could be the beginning of a great weekend with family and friends! Holiday weekends are often a popular choice for many couples as this allows guests who may need to travel the opportunity to join you on your wedding day without having to take time off from work. Keep in mind, though, that holiday weekends are also a time when many families take vacations of their own - which means airline and hotel room availability and/or price concerns. If you decide on a holiday weekend, be sure to inform your guests of the date as soon as possible so they have time to plan and make travel arrangements. Send out those Save-the-Dates early! Most importantly, before making a final decision, run it by close family members and friends, especially ones you hope to have in your bridal party. You will absolutely want to include these people in your day!

Five Good Engagement Tips

This is for all the engaged couples who are trying to set the date to say "I Do." Enjoy your time being engaged! When you're ready to start the planning process be sure to check us out :) Enjoy!

 

 

 

5 Reasons Marriage Engagements Should Be Longer Than One Year

When a couple gets engaged, the first thing that happens is the stress. Planning a wedding is incredibly, incredibly stressful, and many might be tempted to just shorten it all and get the wedding over with so they can move on to being married.
Apparently most couples manage to resist this urge. Huffington Post just ran a survey showing that the average length of an engagement is 13 to 18 months. Despite this desire to rush to the altar (believe me, I remember it), most couples do wait. And they are lucky they do.

A short engagement (six months or less) really only makes sense if you have already been with your spouse for a long time and the marriage is just a formality. Otherwise, especially for couples who have been together a year or less, a long engagement -- more than one year -- is very important. Here are five reasons to be engaged for more than one year:

• You have your whole life to be married: When you are first getting married, you want forever to start RIGHT NOW. But trust me, 10 years into this whole marriage thing, you are married a long, long, long time if you are lucky. There is no reason to rush into it.
• Weddings are stressful: It takes time to plan a wedding. If you are eloping or having a small wedding, by all means, have a short engagement. But some venues book up two YEARS in advance. So if you have your heart set on it, it's best to wait.
• Engagements end: Sorry to burst your happiness bubble, but as someone who was engaged two times before the third one stuck, I can tell you that an engagement is hella easier to call off than a marriage. Give it time. Let it settle. Plan together.
• It's a fun time: You are only engaged for one VERY brief period of your whole life. People are happy for you and loving and excited. It's a special time in anyone's life, so why rush into the marriage portion of the show that will, if you are lucky, last longer than even the unmarried part!
• You need to know each other: For some people, six months into a relationship, they get engaged. Six months later they get married and then six months later they are pregnant. Eighteen months together is NOT enough time to know you're compatible as partners and parents. It just isn't. I have heard that it takes three full rounds of each season (three years) to get to really know one another. That's a good rule of thumb.

 

Wedding Etiquette: The Do's and Don'ts for Guests

Wedding Etiquette: The Do's and Don'ts of Being a Guest

                 

 

 

 

Maybe you think of wedding etiquette as pertaining only to the bride, but there is, in fact, a long list of do's and don'ts you should abide by as a guest, from the moment the invitation arrives in the mail until after the happy event has occurred.
Some rules of conduct are obvious: do not to get embarrassingly drunk, plant one on the groom or write a check at the reception that corresponds to how much you estimate the wedding cost per head (yes, according to our experts, people actually do this). Others are less intuitive but still essential to being a stellar guest.
To guide us, we enlisted the help of Sharon Naylor, who has written over 35 books about weddings, and Anna Post, who hails from the etiquette empire that bears her great-great-grandmother's name, the Emily Post Institute.
Without further ado, here is HuffPost Women's Guide to Weddi-quette:
Do's:
1. RSVP.
If there's anything that gets on brides and grooms' nerves before the wedding, it's guests failing to RSVP in a timely manner. "RSVP as soon as humanly possible," Naylor advised. "Within a couple of weeks, send it back, even if the deadline is far off. It's just good manners," and it's essential to determining how much the wedding will cost. "There is so much expense to planning, and most of that expense is dictated by the numbers on the guest list," Post added.
2. If you were invited to the ceremony, don't just show up for the reception.
"The ceremony is the most important part," said Naylor, adding that guests should make all efforts to attend. Even when the invitation bears those three little words, "full Catholic Mass," it’s in poor taste to show up to the open bar without first attending the main event.
3. Dress as the style of the invitation suggests.
"If it’s a causal invite with sea shells and sand dollars, we're probably not talking long silk dresses," Post said. And on the flipside, "If it is gilt-engraved and scripted and formal, we're probably not talking cotton sundresses."
If you're unsure of the dress code, ask someone familiar with the wedding, perhaps a bridesmaid or member of the bride's family, but not the bride herself. She has her own dress to worry about.
4. Arrive at the ceremony on time.
Leave plenty of time to get to the wedding itself -- even enough time to get lost on the way.
If you must be late, there's protocol for that, too. Don't think, "I'll slip in while the bride is coming up the aisle. No," Post said. "If you're really late, stand in the back or slip quietly into a back pew or row once the processional is completely finished."
5. Send a gift, even if you can't attend.
Etiquette dictates that if you were invited, you owe the couple a gift, even if you can't make it to the wedding. "People lose friends over this," Post said. "I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't remind people to take care of this: one invitation to a wedding ceremony equals a wedding gift."
6. While we're on the topic of gifts, shop from the registry.
If you don't, "It comes off as 'I knew what you wanted but I didn’t care,'" Naylor explained. "Or it comes off as 'I had this laying around and I'm re-gifting,'" even if you actually purchased a new gift specifically for this couple.
7. Sit at your assigned table
"There's a lot of thought that goes into these seating arrangements," Post said. Yes, the bride and groom actually spent time thinking about the various relationships their guests have to one another, and there could be a very good reason the cute guy you want to sit next to is at the other end of the room. Maybe his crazy ex-girlfriend will cause a scene and take you out for flirting with him. Who knows? Only the bride and groom, so don't mess with the seating.
8. Bring an appropriate guest (if you have actually been invited with a guest, that is -- but we'll get to that in the Don'ts).
If you have a sulky boyfriend who will keep you in the corner all night, or one with an unpredictable temper after too many Jack and Cokes, leave him at home.
Don'ts:
1. If you weren't invited with a guest, don't show up with one.
Do not pencil your significant other's name onto the RSVP card, and do not call and ask the bride for a +1. "It is just beyond not okay," Post said, adding that it's one of the top ten complaints she gets from couples. "Once the bride and groom have come to their decision, it is what it is. Asking them to change is disrespectful, and it puts them in an awkward position."
The only exceptions, according to Post, are if you're married, engaged or cohabitating. In that case, modern day etiquette says the bride should have included your romantic other in the first place, and you can very diplomatically and politely broach the conversation with her.
2. Yes, the "no bringing uninvited guests" rule includes your kids.
"People think 'Oh this wedding would be great chance for everyone to meet my new baby! Or to see my kids!' No, just don’t bring an uninvited child." Naylor said. The couple may not have the space and the budget, or they may just prefer not to have children present; they are allowed to have an adults-only wedding.
3. Don't dress to compete.
Even if you worked out all spring, look better than you ever have before, and are dying to show off your beach-ready bod, a wedding is not the time. If your personal style tends toward the revealing, "Tone it down," Naylor said. And don't, don't, don't wear white.
4. Don't be disrespectful of the couple's religious or cultural traditions.
That might mean covering your shoulders in church or temple, or being quiet during a ritual you don't quite understand. "When those kinds of things are going on, you be quiet and you pay attention," said Naylor.
5. Don't be all about your own wedding.
If you're getting married soon after the wedding you're attending, congratulations! Today, however, belongs to the bride of the moment. "Consider your own wedding to be off topic," Naylor said.
6. Don't use your phone.
Don't Facebook, Tweet or text, and certainly don't make a phone call during the wedding or the reception. "Who are you Facebooking? Who are you texting? People who didn’t get invited?" asked Post. "That’s lovely but you're job is to be at the wedding, not reporting on the wedding.”
7. Don't leave before the cake is cut.
It's an old rule, but Post says there's a good reason for it: "It's considered a quiet sign to elderly guests that it's okay to leave," she explained. That’s when it's acceptable for you to depart as well.
8. Don’t share wedding photos -- yet.
While the barrage of day-after wedding photo postings are inevitable, Post explains that brides are very sensitive about their image. It’s best to wait until either the bride or the groom have publicly posted pictures before you post your own. Otherwise, said Post, "You’re kind of Facebook scooping them … on their own big day."

All About Engagement Parties

Engagement Parties: Planning 101

You don't need an excuse for a celebratory bash -- you're engaged! Party on with our engagement-party primer.

Photo: Philippe Cheng Photography

The purpose of an engagement gala -- usually scheduled no later than three months after the big announcement -- can be threefold: to share the new of the couples' imminent union with future wedding guests, to introduce the families to each other, and to celebrate the impending, well, celebration. Tradition has it that the bride's parents host the initial gathering, but the groom's parents can then throw their own party, or both sets can come together to host the fete. As you decide, here are five things the hosts should keep in mind:

1. Give the Couple Time to Breathe

An impromptu family gathering the weekend after he proposed is the perfect opportunity to break out the vintage champagne, but don't schedule an all-out opulent affair during the engagement's first month. The couple needs some time to revel in just being engaged. Plan to host an engagement party two to four months after he popped the question. That gives the couple a chance to envision their eventual wedding-a crucial element to consider when deciding on the type of event you will throw.

2. Find Out the Size of the Wedding

Everyone who is invited to the engagement party should ultimately be invited to the wedding. Otherwise, guests might wonder what they did at the engagement party to insult you! That said, if the couple decides to host their own wedding and keep the list small and you want to throw an extravagant engagement party, go for it. Just be sure to let people know that the wedding will be small so no feelings will be hurt when guests aren't invited to the wedding. If you are worried that your friends will think you want to have a big bash solely to garner gifts, include a nice note in the invitation that requests no presents.

3. Consider what will make the in-laws most comfortable

Since the engagement party custom was actually designed to help you start building bridges between the families, consider their style. If they are a very formal family, an impromptu picnic in the park might not be the most appropriate setting for getting to know one another. Likewise, a five-course sit-down dinner attended by all your friends might be a bit intimidating for them. Settle nerves by including as many people from their side as you can reasonably accommodate.

4. Suggest That the Couple Register Beforehand

While traditionally guests have not brought presents to this function, increasing numbers do today, and it's only fair to provide guidance. Remind the couple to register for gifts in the low to middle range-a five-hundred-dollar cappuccino maker is not your typical engagement present. If some guests arrive bearing gifts, just be sure the couple unwraps them after the party or away from the crowd so people who came empty-handed won't feel uncomfortable.

5. Remind Yourself That There is Still a Wedding to Throw

Every host wants to plan an unforgettable affair, but you never want to upstage the main event. Try to create a different mood for the engagement party while maintaining your own style. You won't want to force a casual cookout if you (and your guests) favor formal parties, and vice versa. But if your guests are up to it, set apart a black-tie affair with a sit-on-the-floor, buffet-style engagment bash; preview a semiformal daytime wedding with a swanky cocktail party, ties optional; or balance a destination wedding with a home-cooked dinner party.

-- Kathleen Murray

Read more: Engagement Party Etiquette 101 - Getting Engaged http://wedding.theknot.com/getting-engaged/engaged/articles/engagement-party-etiquette-101.aspx#ixzz2XRRNLoOc

 

 

 

 

Best Man Duties

Best Man: Best Man Duties in Detail

You've been there for him through thick and thin (like that time in college -- yeah, that time). This wedding won't be any different. Here's what to know when you're a best man.

Photo: David Bates Photographic

 

 

As best man, you may think you're just a glorified groomsman, but guess what? You actually have special responsibilities -- you'll be a combination valet and hand-holder as you help the groom come through this nerve-racking experience with flying colors. As leader of the groom's posse, you'll:

• Serve as the groom's personal aide and adviser before and during the wedding. This can include helping him pack for the honeymoon (the valet part).
  
• Help the groom choose and rent (or buy) wedding formalwear, and coordinate the other groomsmen's rentals. You guys are supposed to match, after all! You may be expected to arrange accommodations for out-of-town groomsmen.
  
• Organize the bachelor party. Don't be shy about enlisting other groomsmen to help you out -- most guys don't mind this duty! Put financial worries out of your mind -- the cost should be split among everyone who attends the bash.
  
• Attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner with the bride and groom and all the other attendants. This is your chance to figure out how you're supposed to walk down that aisle.
  
• Stand beside the groom at the altar and keep the bride's ring until vows are exchanged. Find a safe place for the ring (and triple check that your pockets don't have holes) -- you don't want to fumble around when it's time to whip it out.
  
• Corral the other guys and make sure they're performing their groomsman duties.
  
• Sign the marriage license as a witness after the ceremony, along with the maid of honor.
  
• Give the officiant a sealed envelope with his or her fee (the groom's responsibility) just after the ceremony.
  
• You may be announced with the maid of honor when the reception begins.
  
• Dance with both the honor attendant and the bride during the wedding party dances.
  
• Give the first toast to the bride and groom at the reception. This is your biggest -- and probably most frightening -- duty. Read our article about how to give a toast, and remember the cardinal rule: Mum's the word on the bachelor bacchanalia.
  
• Collect any gift envelopes guests bring to the reception. You may be asked to deposit them in the couple's bank account or at least to keep them until the couple returns from their honeymoon.
  
• Decorate the getaway mobile. Grab the other groomsmen and the bridesmaids for this one.
  
• Drive the couple to the wedding-night hotel or airport after the reception. If you perform this service, you'll need to stay sober throughout the reception. If you have a feeling this may not be possible, hire a limo to drive the couple into the sunset. The wedding will be over in the blink of an eye, so remember to enjoy yourself at the reception. After all, you're there to celebrate the happiest day of your best friend's life.

-- The Knot

Etiquette for Save The Dates

Save-the-Dates: Etiquette Q&A

Want to announce your upcoming wedding? Here's how to do your wedding save-the-dates right.

Photo: Anastassios Mentis

 

The ring is on your finger and the planning is underway -- time to get your guests in the loop. Your first step: Send a wedding save-the-date card. This pre-invitation mailing officially announces your wedding date and lets guests know that they will, in fact, be invited to the celebration. Here are the answers to your most-asked etiquette questions.

Where to Start

Q. Do we have to send a save-the-date?
As destination weddings and three-day weekends have become more standard, so have save-the-dates. And if you're marrying during high-travel times like a holiday weekend or summer in a beach town, a save-the-date is an expected courtesy. Of course, you don't have to send one if you don't want, but it will give guests the heads up about your wedding plans. Between travel arrangements and busy schedules, sending a save-the-date will increase guests' chances of attending your celebration. And that's the goal, right?

If someone receives a save-the-date and will be unable to attend, they are likely to offer regrets far in advance. You still need to send a wedding invitation as a common courtesy.

Q. When do you send them?
As a general rule, it's best to start spreading the news at around six months prior to the ceremony (eight months for a faraway destination). This gives wedding guests plenty of time to book their travel, save a bit of cash, and ask for days off from work. Any earlier, and they may toss the notice aside. Any later, and it might as well be an invitation.
Q. Do we have to send save-the-dates to everyone?
Just to the people that you want to come to your wedding. Even if you've already received confirmations from certain guests, you still need to send them a save-the-date (bridesmaids, siblings, and parents). But remember: Only send to those that you definitely want to attend. Once these are in the mail, there's really no turning back.

Sticky Situations

Q. Do we need to add “and guest,” or can that wait for the invitations?
It's best to be clear about who's invited to the wedding, even this far in advance. Always call your best friend's boyfriend by his nickname? Now's the time to find out what's on his birth certificate. By including the actual names of every intended guest on the envelope, you're less likely to have any assumed invitees (like your third cousin's new boyfriend), or general confusion (is your seven-year-old niece invited?). Being up front about who's invited also gives families with uninvited kids ample time to plan for child care, and out-of-towners time to figure out hotel room shares.

Q. What if we send save-the-dates and then change the date or location?
This scenario is very unlikely, since no couple should send out formal wedding information before setting the plans in stone -- but stranger things have happened. In the event of an unexpected change of plans, your best bet is to update your wedding website, pick up the phone, and start spreading the word. You do have the option of sending out another mailing that explains the dilemma -- but a personal, verbal notice is the best way to avoid confusion. (If your wedding guest list is a bit overwhelming, enlist the help of your bridal party.)
-- Erin Walters

Read more: Save-the-Dates: Etiquette Q&A - Wedding Planning - Wedding Invitations + Stationery http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-invitations/articles/save-the-dates-etiquette.aspx#ixzz2WmXzvnGH

Tips for Toasts on Your Special Day

Wedding Tips: Who Toasts When and What Do They Say?

 

 

Wedding toasts...they can be beautiful memories or they can be complete nightmares. Usually, they're a nice moment in all of the celebration and chaos of the day, but most of the time they're a pretty stressful event, both for the speaker and for the bride and groom (who find their wedding at the mercy of the speaker's oratory skills). A good way to cut down on the stress of the situation is to figure out exactly who needs to give a wedding toast, when they need to give it, and what they ought to say. Here is a simple breakdown of good wedding toast planning:


(1) Rehearsal dinner toasts. This is a relaxed and informal atmosphere and the toasts should match. These toasts start with the person or persons hosting the event, which is usually the groom's father or both of the groom's parents. Next, it's customary for the best man to say a few words and then for the groom to take over, say something to the guests, and then say something to the bride. After that, the bride's parents can say a few words and the bride can share something with the guests and her groom. Then, any guests who wish to speak may do so.
Since the rehearsal dinner is usually a more intimate affair, these toasts can be more personal and can last longer than the wedding toasts would. It's also more appropriate for funny toasts to be given at the rehearsal dinner, where inside jokes are often appreciated, than at the wedding reception, where toasts that are meant to be funny can often come off as offensive, embarrassing, or confusing to guests who aren't in the loop.
The bride and groom may feel funny about giving a toast to each other, but it's a nice moment for the guests and it doesn't have to be a preview of your heartfelt vows. Just say something nice about your future spouse and include an expression of gratitude to both sets of parents and anyone who either helped out a lot in the wedding planning or who went to a lot of trouble to attend the wedding. Do not, however, take the opportunity to put in digs either to your future spouse or to any part of the wedding. Even if they're supposed to be lighthearted, it's not a good time for that sort of public criticism, since people are often stressed (and therefore oversensitive) around weddings.


(2) Wedding reception toasts. Wedding reception toasts should be formal and short. The best man begins by giving the first toast, which should simply extend good wishes towards the couple. The maid of honor usually follows with her own expression of good wishes and then it's up the fathers of the bride and groom if they want to give their own toasts. Although it's appropriate for the fathers (or either father) to give a toast at the wedding reception, it's not required and definitely should not be something that either father feels pressured to do. In fact, the wedding guests may be happier that the fathers elected not to toast the couple, since that means that there's less of a wait for either the food to be served or the dancing to begin.
At the end of the evening, many couples choose to give a toast to thank their guests or to recognize special people. It's also common for couples to use this time to give toasts to each other, but this is not required since the vows took place in front of the same guests only hours before. If this toast is timed right before the last song is played (which is traditionally a slow song), it will be a good time to let people know that the party is wrapping up. This gives your guests extra time to say their goodbyes and gather themselves before your event is officially over, which is a courteous gesture as hosts.

Picking Your Wedding Colors

Wedding Styles: Picking Your Wedding Colors

Wondering how to pick your wedding day colors and make them work? Here's a guide to creating a winning palette.

Photo: Alison Gootee

The hottest thing happening at wedding receptions isn't just on the dance floor -- it's on the wedding cake, the invitations, the centerpieces, and even the bride's gown. It's big, bold color. Years ago brides used color to accent their white wedding day decor, but now they're using color to cover every inch of the wedding. We've developed a step-by-step guide on color coordination (from choosing it to decorating with it) to help you dream up a bright wedding day.

Choosing Your Color

First things first: location. When deciding on a scheme, you must consider the reception space or choose a space without decor or color. If you've chosen a country club with navy and maroon Oriental carpets, a color scheme of lime green and hot pink won't work. Next, become aware of color combinations that you like, whether browsing art galleries or flipping through a stack of fashion magazines. You might be able to narrow down your color choices to a half a dozen. To help you choose the exact hue for your wedding details, visit a local fabric store or paint shop and collect swatches or chips of colors you might want to use. This will help you get specific, so that when you decide on green you'll know if it's lime green, kelly green, sage green, or forest green. If you have access to a Pantone book, use this collection of colors to select your shade the same way graphic designers do. Many invitation designers mix ink to match the colors in this book, and many cake bakers use Pantone numbers as a reference when creating dye for frosting. Can't decide on just one or two colors? Don't worry. In fact, many extraordinary weddings feature a variety of colors, sometimes up to five, that work together to create a specific sensibility -- like an "English garden" with green, yellow, pink, red, and brown, or "Fall in New England" with orange, red, brown, and gold.
The Knot Note: For specifics on choosing your winning color combo, read more on choosing your wedding colors.

Where & How to Execute Color

Where and how you use color really depends on the mood you are trying to create. The best way to get started is to figure out what emotions you want your celebration to evoke. A peaceful, Zen-like retreat? A regal, romantic affair? A jumping, high-energy party? For instance, a vibrant summer yellow mixed with chocolate brown (think sunflowers and bees) is perfect for a country-chic wedding style; add gold to the mix, and the combination becomes more reminiscent of Northern Italy. As another example, leaf green paired with cantaloupe is pretty for a waterside wedding; but pair this green with copper, and you have a color scheme that's formal enough for a ballroom or an estate setting. If your wedding takes place in multiple spaces, each room can have its own color scheme.

The Elements of Style

Attire Your gown doesn't have to be solid white, especially since color accents are increasingly more available. A blue or red sash around the waist is striking and still very bridal. The groom and his guys can also sport color in their ties or on their cuff links. But color will be most prominently displayed throughout the day in the bridesmaid dresses. Some fervent folks might want to match the dresses to the invitation ribbons, the favor tags, and the bouquets but this isn't the only way to define a style. Mixing and matching dresses in varying shades -- pink and orange, or pale green and yellow -- can sometimes make a statement stronger than uniformity. Invitations Your invitations set the stage for the event, so remember that mood you want to evoke? This is your time to show it off. Coordinating the invitation colors with those of the wedding can be as easy as choosing a color font, ribbon, or monogram or as elaborate as layering colorful cards.
Flowers & Decor No matter what color you've chosen, chances are you'll be able to find flowers in that shade -- but that, of course, does not mean the blooms will be available or affordable. If your dream flowers aren't an option, use neutral white flowers with centerpiece containers or other decor elements in your color.
Wedding Cake The cake is one of the easiest places to add color -- all it takes is the right mixing. The color should reflect the other style elements used throughout the wedding. But when it comes to cake, your color options are the most flexible. White icing makes a marvelous background for colorful sugar flowers, sugar-paste stripes or polka dots, or other effects. Fondant can also be created in any number of shades. For instance, a yellow and brown country-chic wedding might have a wedding cake iced in a light brown basket weave and topped with fresh sunflowers.
Favors Ultimately, it's more important to give something meaningful rather than something that matches, but it can be a nice touch to your favors package in your color scheme. Use gift tags and ribbons to incorporate your colors into your favors. If favors will be left at each place setting, consider how they will look with your wedding linens and flowers.

New Ways to Use Color

We should point out that overdoing it with a matchy-match look is entirely possible. (You don't want your guests thinking, Um, yeah, lavender...we get it.) Begin with the five essential wedding elements (attire, invitations, flowers, cake, and favors) and see where you can -- or should -- add more color. Then consider details, such as napkins, candles, signature drinks, your ring pillow, or your guest book, made from the same fabric and in the same color as the bridesmaid dresses

Read more: Color-Coordinated Weddings - Choosing Wedding Colors - Wedding Color Ideas http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-colors/choosing-wedding-colors/articles/color-coordinated-weddings.aspx#ixzz2WlvdSWIt